Firm Hope In a better tomorrow!

Anonymous giving and acts of kindness can lead the giver to a very lonely place in the universe. Like the Lone Ranger or some other disguised hero, we do kind things all the time and so often the people on the receiving end don’t see it or don’t recognize it.

Living a life of altruism, in its most ideal form, means setting the ego aside and not doing what we do for credit. Usually, I have no problem with this at all. But there are those days, perhaps when I’m feeling a little weak or drained, where I find myself feeling lonely with it all, feeling like I’m giving, giving, giving, to a world that is in super receiving mode and asleep to what’s being done for them. I get a little discouraged.

Even idealized heroes had their inner circle of friends who knew who they really were and what their life was all about. The Lone Ranger had Tonto. Batman had Robin and his butler, Alfred. You get the picture. Being truly altruistic means we do what we do without expectation for credit or recognition. Otherwise, it’s not truly altruistic. But at some point, we have to be good receivers to continue to be effective givers.

I remember shortly after my first child was born that my wife and I reached a point where we were really struggling to make ends meet. We both had jobs but the pay was very meager.  We were both doing work that we loved doing and we were really caught up in the magic of being new parents.  But a financial reality burst our bubble one day.We had nothing left in savings, and bills that were due, some overdue, could not be met.

We talked with other people about our dire circumstances. We got a lot of sympathy but we were still feeling a lot of stress and not coming up with any solutions. And then it happened. I opened the front door one morning and found a plain white envelope tucked inside the screen door. Inside the envelope was $100 dollars. I felt this tremendous sense of energy swell up within me, surrounding me like a great, warm comforter. Some kind soul anonymously gave what felt like an awful lot of money to me then. They obviously didn’t want credit for their generosity and to this day I’ve never known for certain who it was.

In those days, that $100 would have just about paid for a month’s rent. And even though it wasn’t enough to make good on all of our bills, receiving the money gave us such a sense of relief and humbleness to be blessed by some great kindness of a friend who wanted no credit from us whatsoever. We made it through that dark time, not so much from the money we’d been given, but by realizing how powerful an act of anonymous generosity can be.

I’ve paid that act of kindness forward over and over many times. And even being the veteran giver that I consider myself to be, my mind still swings like a pendulum between the extremes of totally selfless giving and the need to receive something in return occasionally. Despite the back and forth energy of the momentum that is created, my sense is that I am ever moving forward through a world that often feels thankless and uncaring. I am constantly aware that there have probably been countless occasions when I have been the receiver of many acts of kindness from others who may have been aware of what they were doing even though I was asleep to their gift.

I am committed to being more awake to what’s going on around me and to showing my gratitude whenever possible for any act of kindness  given, even if it’s as small a thing as someone holding open a door for me.  Living a life of kindness is like breathing: for every breath out, there has to be a breath back in.  That isn’t about ego.  It’s about staying alive and being fully human.  To quote the animated film Ratatouille “Let’s do this thing!”

ALPINE, UTAH — Even though a cup of joe isn’t exactly Jeff Smith’s cup of tea, he gets a buzz out of kicking back at his local coffee shop and spying on yawning — and often downright grumpy — morning customers as they realize their foam-whipped morning fix has been paid for.

“They just transform,” Smith said. “They get this confused look, then grin from ear to ear and look around for someone to thank. They can’t figure it out.”

A cashier then slips the baffled customer a small laminated card with an unusual message: “You’ve been ‘tagged’ with an Act of Kindness.”

The middle-age Alpine resident is so addicted to the charitable high he feels from “small acts here and there” that he’s spent a small fortune launching an Internet-based company intended to help others experience the same feeling.

The lofty notion of kindness being passed from person to person like a sort of benevolent influenza was featured in the 2000 award-winning film “Pay It Forward.”

But Smith’s Web site, goodwillpaidforward.com, punches the concept up a notch — or a full rung — by allowing do-gooders, even those wishing to remain anonymous, to track the contagiousness of their kindness on Google map.

“Now you can literally see how your act of service has spread all over the world,” he said excitedly. “It’s incredible.”

A sheet of 10 tags can be bought online for $16. After the tags arrive by mail, the buyer logs on the Web site and types in a provided code to activate the series.

The newly motivated humanitarian then goes to work carrying groceries or mowing lawns with a pocket — or keychain — full of tags.

“Sure, we can serve without tags, and we should, but do we?” Smith questioned. “Not enough, and sometimes not at all. So these (tags) act as a great reminder. You think, ‘I’ve got to get rid of these.’”

Like the proverbial cash that burns to be spent, Smith says, the mini cards itch until they’re properly scratched with a good deed and given away.

Each tag passed out can be tracked on Smith’s Web site as it wonders the earth from one amicable person and one continent to the next.

Those tagged type their ticket’s individual number on the Web site and leave a comment, then pass it on.

Once purchased, the same sturdy tag remains in circulation for what Smith refers to as several “generations” or “ripples” of kindness.

“Like ripples of water,” he said. “Throw the first pebble and watch it multiply.”

In short, a person’s original 10 acts of kindness often increase to 100 in as little as a month’s time.

To date, the 7-month-old Web site has tracked 11,763 acts of kindness, nearly 60 a day.

An active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Smith said he was especially moved to create the feel-good movement when late church President Gordon B. Hinckley noted, “It is not enough to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. … And the good that is in you must be spread to others.”

The self-made, affluent businessman said the operation is not intended to turn a profit, but he wouldn’t mind if tag sales paid enough to make it a self-sustaining operation.

Attesting to his altruistic claim is a rare sight: a popularly visited Web site without a single advertisement. There’s not one neon-blinking, cursor-following, pop-up ad on the whole site.

“Sure, I want to get paid back on it, but that’s not everything,” Smith said. “I feel good about it.”

Where it does make money, though, is in the fundraising department.

After Smith’s son’s baseball team found out it was facing a 20 percent financial shortfall after dwindling sign-up numbers, they sold the sheets door to door for $20 — of which $12 per sheet went back to the team or organization.

“People don’t mind buying one, even in these (economic) conditions, because they can feel good about it,” he said.

And apparently people do. A glance at the Web site shows comments of appreciation for acts a few dozen ripples deep, ranging from shoveling snow off of sidewalks to an anonymously given cashier’s check for $5,000.

In about a month, the lengthy Web site name goodwillpaidforward.com will be changed to tagten.org “in reference to tagging 10 folks with kindness,” Smith said.

“It’s a tag-you’re-it thing,” he said.

SOURCE: Deseret News